The Introvert’s Way : Living a quiet life in a noisy world by Sophia Dembling
It’s hard to make people understand what you are and what you aren’t feeling when you are an introvert. Most of the time I struggle to express myself or behave comfortably because I worry that people will find my actions unacceptable because it does not go along with the hypothetical social norms. To be honest, I am quite tired of feeling sorry about the way I am. I am an introvert, not an extrovert. It may not be the more acceptable disposition for most people but it does not mean that there is something wrong with me. Some of us are introverts, some are extroverts. Neither of the two is wrong. People are different from each other and it makes the world interesting.
With all that said, I am thankful that I have found affirmation from this book written by Sophia Dembling. It has helped me accept my introversion in so many levels. Through the insights, incidents and narratives in this book, I have found the comfort that I am looking for — there are others who are a lot like me and can understand my behavior, unlike most people in my surroundings. It has taught me how to embrace my introversion and my fellow introverts without any hint of condemnation for extroverts. So thank you Ms. Dembling (and to the person who did the cover and made me interested in this book). You have made this introvert feel less alone in this world.
From the book:
AFFIRMATIONS FOR INTROVERTS
Staying home is doing something. Time spent alone is not negative space. It has its own purpose, both in what you do with it and in what it does for you.
My presence is a gift, not a requirement. If you receive an invitation to do something that doesn’t sound fun, you might choose to do it anyway. And that would be very nice of you. But you don’t have to.
I like who I like. You are not required to like everyone, and just because you don’t like everyone doesn’t mean you hate people. It’s not your problem if a person is a bore or a boor.
Listening to bores is not my job. Just because you’re a good listener doesn’t mean you are obligated to listen to anyone who wants to bend your ear. Your listening skills is a gift to be bestowed on only the deserving. You owe it to yourself and loved ones to preserve your limited energy for them and not waste it on people you don’t like.
Managing my energy is a favor to myself and everyone around me. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re being mean when you step away from the fun. They obviously don’t know how cranky you get if you push yourself too hard.
Saying no can be a kindness. If you say no to them, they may say no to you. Sooner or later they will realize what a blessing the freedom to say no is. Plus, if you say yes when you want to say no, you probably won’t present your best self and you might not be much fun.
I can love other people and still not be responsible for their good time. Sometimes you will do things you don’t want to just as a kindness to someone you love. But you don’t have to do that all the time.
Just because I am quiet doesn’t mean I have nothing to say. Some people are raconteurs who can hold a room full of people in their thrall. If you’re not, oh well. You have plenty to say when the time and circumstances are right for you.
I know what I need better than anyone else. Yes, they love you. Yes, their intentions are good. Yes, sometimes their suggestions are useful. But even your most intimate intimates don’t know you better than you know yourself and you are allowed to weigh their suggestions against your self-knowledge and dismiss them if they don’t feel right. No fuss and confrontation necessary, just stay centered and calm and own your own choices.