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Flammable things

Have you ever tried to huff paint?

It’s intoxicating. It’s suffocating. Consuming.

It’s like swallowing a tiny gas that builds a fire in your lungs.

Have you ever spilled thinner in your hands

Soaked it in alcohol and rubbed detergent against it all at once?

It doesn’t hurt really. Not at first.

 

 

The best solutions always come with the black flame at the back

It wants to be avoided but nothing works as good

You use it anyway. You get a little careless and use too much

Pretty soon you’ll find your lungs starting to give in

You take a desperate gasp to try to save yourself from death

It’s funny how alive you could feel the moment your heart’s about to burst.

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Skin Disease

My father always tells me to keep my hands on the side

“Don’t touch your face, don’t run them through your arms.”

I was well aware that gazing at the sun would run red to the surface

I know well enough how fast my scratches bled.

 

 

Sometimes I’d still expect otherwise, it never hurts, it won’t bleed

So I dig the round edges of my nails deep against my skin and run it

A presence lingers but it was never pain, I look scourged but I don’t mind

I look at the mirror and see drizzles of blood spreading across my face

“Things are not as bad as they look.” is all I said.

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A little less quiet

You were just a boy who smiled to the whole world

You never let pain and anger take away that demeanor

And every crying, struggling voice you’ve heard

Whoever steps in, friend or stranger, you’d deny your love to neither

 

She was just a girl who kept her heart open

She would never let time nor absence take her to limits

All empty hands she would fill with an ocean

Whoever calls out, friend or stranger, she’d bleed out her minutes

 

You were to give the world your everything

She was to stop at nothing, trying and understanding

But the world’s too frenzied to give anything

Even when she shouts the world hears absolute nothing

 

Everyone says you have been the nicest boy

Everyone said her smile was a sunshine to their life

But no one would turn to celebrate your joy

No one held her hand when she’s bleeding under the knife

 

Years and years of kindness felt all sad and cruel

You kept strong though no one saw your heart’s in a riot

Lonely girl felt the world had played her a fool

Until your smile made her world a little less quiet

 

 

 

*this is one is dedicated to my best friend, who I believe with my whole heart is one of the nicest person who has ever existed on this planet. I will forever be thankful to all the forces of nature that allowed us to meet each other. In your silent ways you have made our lonely worlds a little less quiet and I hope that one day you’d get to read this, when I feel like I am brave enough to or when I have made a more decent version of this that you can be proud of. 

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Sparks and short circuits

Fate or intention might have pulled me to you
But the second we met felt like a short circuit
The plug of my silence wasn’t meant to go through
But Nobody really stopped the flow of your current

Any outsider can tell of your resistance
Nobody knew how much greater i tried to hide mine
But the outside forces had so much persistence
The energy inside amplified made you shine

So we managed to fit the two of us together
Launching sparks of our silence and laughter in midair
The person we hide thrives in our forever
Our smiles revealed so much more than we can ever dare

I will not admit to any attraction
But You make the room fade and all that is above
Though i’m sure love isn’t part of the equation
I know that I like you better than falling in love

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Distant Angel

It’s been days that I have regret

That destiny did not chance us together

Once before we were meant to cross paths

But time and fate decided not yet

For now, ties of unwoven strings must sever

Rage of thunderstorms I must learn to weather

But bearing strikes makes the heart grow fonder

The ease of your smile makes my hope go farther

Farther my heart leaps everyday

Everyday I chance the simplicity that is your face

The lullaby in your voice and the kindness that is you

To you I’m a mere stranger, not a friend, not a lover

Yet you’re a savior in times chivalry has withered

I do not ask to be remembered by name or by face

I just wanna say thank you and lock you in embrace.

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Mechanical Girl

Little Carrie was like most little girls

She had big bright eyes and two dancing feet

She wore a dress and ribbon-ed all her curls

She would smile to all and walk with a beat

All those who pass by the shop would agree

What a marvel, brilliant, talented child

She was kind, generous, even pretty

Her presence makes the indifferent wild

 

But poor little girl when the day is done

None’s left but metal joints and rusted gears

Love to a lifeless is given by none

Who’d love someone with no joy and no tears

She might have cried of loneliness or pain

Wiped her cheeks thinking ‘it might just be rain’

 

1

Black Star

Tiny little lights spread across the sky

In the darkness of the night, an innocent soul might

Never learn the mortality of your existence

In his desperate hope to find burning light

To find spark for his lifeless soul

To deny the darkness that resides deep inside

To hold together the gaping trenches  of his heart

To once again feel desire and wonder and passion

He might cling to your passed away light

Trace your life back together

Even when all that’s left is endless nothing

And a streak of light, a thousand light years too late

part one: https://happinessisaquietroom.wordpress.com/2013/03/19/tiny/

2

Tiny

Tiny

Little lights

Spread across

The sky/ in the darkness

Of the night, an innocent soul hopes and dreams and wishes to you/ Will you, the brightest of

lights hear my hopes tonight?/ Will you in your endless days of shining and travelling

across galaxies and light-years, do me the kindness of stopping by

/ even just for a while. Give a spark to my lifeless soul/

illuminate the dark hole that is eating me

up inside/Fill the gaps of my life with your

stardust/ touch me with your temper and

let the heat of your remains spark the desire and

wonder and passion in           me/Allow me in the brief

streak of  your ..                                              passing light to

trace my ..                                                                        life back to-

gether                                                                                                     again.

part two: https://happinessisaquietroom.wordpress.com/2013/03/19/black-star/

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Of rainy days and metaphors

The rain taps against the window pane

Beating, and stopping, and continuing

Like broken notes from an old music box

 

I wanted to feel its flutter against my skin

So I opened up, reached out as far as I could

And the rain ran, protecting, uncovering, the ends of my hands

 

I watched the rush of it turn fear to excitement

How its reflection turned colors nothing to everything

How it turns sad sad songs to something alluring

 

Yet with all my love, It can’t be still with me

I must keep it flowing, send it flying, let it fall

For rain only lives in little time before kissing earth