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Tonight is a night of lost sanities

Mine wanders the depths of the forest
Somewhere i can no longer feel

The night catches on
The wolves are hungry

It wanders lost
And they kill in silence

because there is no one left to talk to but my blog

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Walking on the sidelines

I wanted to stand in the middle of the road
And see what life’s like on the fast track
I want to see the road in its fullness
And gasp at the infinity that stretches before me

But they told me to stay away from broken lines
If you can’t swerve away from those big machines
The road is made not for fragile lost souls
Better step aside than with death collide

So I walked by the sidelines where it is safe
But even the edge of the road has its limits
Shoulder to shoulder with a million strangers
You move aside to help give them way

Going farther from those yellow broken lines
You’re almost losing sight of the road
Yet you take another step farther
’cause it is the sensitive thing to do

Walking now with gravel scarring your feet
In your thoughts, you begin to wonder
How much more distant can you get
Before you start falling over the edge

3

Two years later

Just today it came to me

It has been two years now

It’s been great and I’m happy

But I really miss you somehow

 

I try to know you as much as I can

Catching up on stories we forgot to tell

It’s been a long road; you’re a changed man

I’m proud of you and I wish you well

 

You’ve made your way to a great start

Trying real hard to reach your stars

Gaining admiration for the beauty of your art

I’m praising you wearing anonymous scars

 

I’ve heard that you’re writing again

I’m glad that you’ve taken what I can’t

You’re making name by the stroke of your pen

Somehow letting me know how your life went

 

They say you’ve been growing your hair

You’ve changed your attitude and look

They say you got a tattoo somewhere

I hope inside you’re still the same book

 

We’ve been different, I can tell

Sometimes I’m afraid just to even talk

‘Cause my old friend already said farewell

The day you changed the way you walk

 

Though what I fear is not the changing you

But that I’d change to the final gram

If I dressed up in my everything new

Would you still know who I am?

 

If we stood among the crowd

Like it’s the first day we met

I hope your eyes would speak so loud

To tell me you’ll never forget

2

Superhero

They call her a superhero

Extraordinary girl with invisibility

Always listening to cries on the radio

Helping others has become her necessity

 

She carries weight for those who can’t bear

She wipes fear away from those that weep

But the credit and glory she does not share

Other heroes parade; in darkness she sleeps

 

Even out of disguise; Still the same

Shoulder to lean on but never recalled

Hide and seek- always a losing game

Standing obvious, her person remains walled

 

So she looks down to the streets of living

Where people share joy, triumph, and fear

Strangers look up thinking raindrops are falling

­­­­Every time a superhero sheds a tear

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Her infinite smile…

I was slowly opening my eyes to the dews of midnight dreams, when I heard her calling my name. For a while everything she said felt empty. As if all the words kept passing through me without really any understanding. I just sat there and nodded my head in confusion, without really being aware of anything but the infinite joy that is dancing around her lips.

She was so radiant as I watch her smile, her pale face is against the blood red of the roses which she’s clutching tight to her chest.  She was sharing a brief moment of blissful insanity with the once thorn-filled beauty that is now prisoner in her hands.

I could not even begin to ask how such petty little things could bring so much happiness to such an unfathomable girl. Who would even dare question the insanity brought about by the unexpected response to one’s feelings, by the person whom he or she loves? Who would dare break a moment of self-fulfilment when one finally realizes that the impossible that one’s hoping for is now within arm’s reach? It wouldn’t be me.

So I just kept lying quietly against the grass, tucking myself into the silence of my queries and inattention, as I look upon the sky that is slowly stripping itself off the colors of midnight. I haven’t realized how long it had been. It surely has been hours since we got here. It has been hours since she started telling me about her now severed unrequited love and hundreds of minutes since I started tuning it out for all I wanted to think about was the person who we were waiting for. How many more minutes?

And soon as I decided to give up waiting and start for home, I saw a familiar figure from a distance that has convinced me to stay a little longer.  He waves at us from a distance and I tried to wave back with as much enthusiasm. He walks closer and as the details of his face start to get clearer, my desire to cut the moment was growing stronger. I sighed to myself hoping that somehow the radiance of her smile could make those roses disappear from his sight, but one could only hope for the possible.

I sat up trying to give as much attention as I could. I looked for signs in his face, wanting to know if he’s still holding up, but all I got where vague stares and empty smiles. And I stared at him for so long hoping that my gaze could tell him how sorry I am for letting this happen when I know the truth about his feelings and how much time is slipping from our hands, but he wouldn’t look back. He wouldn’t even so much return a glance as if the roses stood as a bouquet of my betrayal – my failure to keep my promise.

And the three of us went on like this for so long, I felt as if the distance between all of us right now exceeded all the time we spent together. I sat there helpless with no remedy for my problems; he sat there listening with a makeshift smile to conceal his sorrow as we both listen to her love-struck tale, which beyond her knowing is pulling us apart.

And there was so much silence between us that my thoughts felt as if they were screaming at me. I should have just told her from the start. “The boy loves you more than anything in the world and you care for him as much. I wish you’d just give a careful look even just for a while and realize that you’re blocking yourself from what’s right in front of you because you’re too busy chasing stars. ” And the selfishness of my thoughts started to escalate as I went on “How can you be so reckless as to ruin our friendship like this-Waving the petals of your exaggerated infatuation in front of the boy who’s breaking in pieces. How could you spend our last moment together, breaking the two hearts that cared for you the most? He’s leaving tonight, drop the lifeless beauty and run for him…”  But as my thoughts went to a halt, I realized she never really knew, did she? As obvious as it may seem for everybody else, his feelings were always just genuine friendship for her and she never really did knew that those feelings were trying to bid farewell at this very moment.

He gave one last smile and a hug for the both of us before starting for home. And I wanted to stay in that moment for as long as I can for it will be very long until we are like this again. And I wanted to pull him back in as soon as his hands started to slip away, but there’s no stopping time from running. So I gave him one last look telling him that I’m really sorry, and to my most fortunate heart he returned my gesture with a soft wink and a faint smile that allowed me to understood that he was going to try again.

And so we parted ways with untold secrets and fluttering hopes. I sat myself inside the car hoping my dreams could once again take me to a safe place. And right beside me sat the girl who completed the other half of my heart, whispering to the world all the happiness she has inside.

She grins into silence, as the sun peers through the windows of the car and the rays spread gracefully across her face. I sit across her, watching. My thoughts spiral down as I follow the threads of her hair be blown by the wind. I looked at her and she still holds all the joy of the world in her infinite smile.

Could anyone really break such happiness? Should I let everything untold keep hanging? I sigh my confusion unto the wind and thought to myself “Maybe not today. I won’t see the two of you be together today. But maybe some other day, when clouds are clearer and emotions aren’t as tangled as the lights dancing on earth. ”

And I let my problems pass just for that moment, and I let myself get lost in the growing music of the drizzle that’s been building up outside. Not knowing that a pure moment of empty thoughts and silent gestures would precede a billion moments apart.

The rain was beginning to rage as I slowly slip into the land of dreams. I took one last glance at the joy of the person sitting beside me.

As the world started to turn into a massive collision and shards of bleeding glass started to rain down on us, I was collecting the last thing to remember…

The three of us won’t be seeing each other soon. Death is not soon enough.

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Clouds collide

A falling star may brush the night

Bursting colors when she’s up high

But down below, she’s not so bright

Just a metallic shard out of sky

 

A stargazer can pass by, ignore the crater

Unmind the rock of less magnificence

But open your eyes, stay a little later

Explosion of stardust, will take your innocence

 

Take a step down, closer, dig deeper

Talk to her, take her hand, walk by her side

Know she’s the same sky light, my foolish seeker

Learn all this time, in front of your eyes, clouds collide

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Heart of hopes

Silent soulful cries shed by distressed damsels

Call upon the heart of hopes in her sleep

With a wave of wand heartbreak farewells

Grants maidens eternal happiness to keep

 

She’s not a flabby, fluffy old folk

Just a girl graced with generosity

Weaving royalty romance with a single stroke

Watching prince and princess kiss to infinity

 

And she follows the scene with such longing

How does one give hope in sacrifice of love?

Why are chances given up for other’s wishing

And part with your prince to put others above?

 

Do godmothers ever win the man in the armour

Or is a chance at love just something to hope for?

1

Lucky charms

Dear friend, free yourself of fret and fear

Wipe yourself clean from marks of insanity

And I’ll open my hands to catch your every tear

Give you a smile from the sea of no gravity

 

Stars shimmering, shooting across the sky

Shall gather in my palms in numbers of no end

And every ray of light will make your dreams fly

And the warmth of night, to your embrace I’ll send

 

I’ll wrap it with feathers from angel wings

To calm the storms that may come your way

Sprinkle it with dust from magical things

To send your doubts and insecurities away

 

Hope you accept with sparkle in your eyes

My apology for my untimely demise

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Catching fire

She took the world’s anger with her

Bit it, broke it and bottled it up

Secured, sealed locked till none can sever

But easily unlocked with a thunder’s drop

 

Peering through peace a perilous storm

Cutting fragile glass to a million stars

Rage released sparked rain in fire form

Madness drizzles, so she catches scars

 

Collecting wrath’s crippling, corrupted sands

Painted a spectrum of blood in her hands

1

No more tears

Humans do think

That the worst parts

In life are those

That reflect shadows

 

When there’s camaraderie

Between complex emotions

Dramatic climax clashes

And lachrymal overflows

 

Those moments when

Science loses reason

To comprehend why

In dire times, tears fall

 

The whole world crashes

And nothing is left

But to unleash the beast

Solely owned by human soul

 

We break down

Beat ourselves red and dry

As a simple reminder that

We’re broken yet alive

 

Would heartbreak’s epitome

Really be a rain of life?

I think only the worst

If we can no longer cry